I HATE...

my blog, i look at it and it makes me frustrated looking through past blogs, it makes me unmotivated to post here anymore. I don't show personality in my words and work, i struggle to find things to make, they end up not being my own, i would rather copy things or in more polite terms "borrow" ideas from other artists' work - though i know this is a normal thing in that art world but from this i hide who i really am because i feel unaccomplished with my life, like i haven't done anything just living life. I am not original and it makes me want to burn my paintings because i look at them with disgust knowing that it doesn't reflect who i am like i want it too, i trick myself into thinking, painting just has to look nice and that is it. but i know there is more to that.

i have to get out of these series of doubts i have in myself.

i am uncomfortable in calling and hearing people call myself an artist at this point in time because i have not found who i am, i haven't answered all these questions i have in my head that would confirm that i am worthy of calling myself an "artist". i know not all questions in life is possible of answering. but i need to find the 'artist" that i know is hiding in me.