I HATE...

my blog, i look at it and it makes me frustrated looking through past blogs, it makes me unmotivated to post here anymore. I don't show personality in my words and work, i struggle to find things to make, they end up not being my own, i would rather copy things or in more polite terms "borrow" ideas from other artists' work - though i know this is a normal thing in that art world but from this i hide who i really am because i feel unaccomplished with my life, like i haven't done anything just living life. I am not original and it makes me want to burn my paintings because i look at them with disgust knowing that it doesn't reflect who i am like i want it too, i trick myself into thinking, painting just has to look nice and that is it. but i know there is more to that.

i have to get out of these series of doubts i have in myself.

i am uncomfortable in calling and hearing people call myself an artist at this point in time because i have not found who i am, i haven't answered all these questions i have in my head that would confirm that i am worthy of calling myself an "artist". i know not all questions in life is possible of answering. but i need to find the 'artist" that i know is hiding in me.

RED Durer

red print

Durer

This is one of my first Printmaking projects a collaboration piece with the whole printmaking class, which we only had a week to do! I know just a week and I'm glad I finished it and in four days too. I'm not bragging or anything, but I'm pretty damn proud of it. The image we had to carve out is is A4 sized and the image is from a section from an existing xylograph image by Painter, Drawer, Engraver and Mathematician Albrecht Durer. This whole Image itself is called "Escape To Egypt".

My first proper lino block every, I mean I did a little bit of lino block carving in high school but it was way simple and very crap also it was a long time ago. And I can safely say I've come a long way from pretty much nothing.

My second printmaking projects is on it's way, nearly finished but I have to fix it up because the ink decided it didn't like part of my lino block, so most of my prints have had ugly patches of no ink. Do not fear I know how to fix it and when it's fixed I will be able to stop stressing out about it.

I don't even want to talk about what's been happening with my painting because it has really been not going anywhere unfortunately. I wish I could say I'm very happy about my work in painting like I am with printmaking but I seem to have struck an uninspiring area for it, hopefully I will get out of it soon because I need as much inspiration in my final works that has been slowly coming along.

I guess that's all... a very long post, until next time this is me signing off.

Arrows

So I found an off cut of linoleum and it was too small to do any proper projects with and it was a bit too big to throw away and being me I hate throwing away anything. So what I did was draw then carved out using lino tools this arrow design on it. I printed this design onto some card and it seems to be making pretty neat bookmarks. I seem to have a thing for drawing in arrows into my drawings I don't know why it's just something I've been doing recently.

I Love Lino Block Printing

002

002

so being unsatisfied with the last drawing, I took it on to making another one, this time more detail and more effort was put into it....again no meaning just time that's involved in this....I guess one can appreciate it that way?

001

001

I actually made this a while ago; I just never posted it, which is weird because I thought I did. Notice that I made it my background too, cool. I don’t know if I like this or not, it was just sometime I did to fill my boredom. Most of what I create doesn’t have some grand meaning in it let alone any meaning, like it should. Considering I go to art school and is told to describe what I had made in my classes, every time I find it hard to do so. I just do it because I want to; this is what I want to do, create something on a surface that is in my mind, does it have to mean something? If it doesn’t does it mean it’s not art?

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my Lovely Bestfriend!!!!!!!!

another year older I hope you don't feel too old today :D

Unmotivated

It seems like a long time since I updated this thing. Recently I have been unmotivated by what life brings me each day, unable or rather not wanting to make anything but sit and complain about how I have no motivation to create anything therefore my excuse is justified. Though it is easier to sit around and say I have no motivation to create anything, this is only because the effort into getting up and do something, even if it is just anything takes a hundred times more power within myself to have effort into creating something I like. Usually when I know I am about to make something I do not like (which is nearly all the time) I don't bother whether or not the outcome, it has not been created. I have not yet learn to be confident within my work which makes it hard for me to work at all. Finding ideas and inspiration from other artists only draws me in a circle of the question "is my work ever gone to get better?" this question I sometimes doubt, can it be possible to do something in reality if it started as a dream?

"abstract landscape, 2009. 21.7 x 29.8"

This is a painting I did about a month ago for one of my painting classes. I quite like it actually, the contrast between the background and the lines just seem right. It was one of those paintings that was force, as awful as it sounds, I was running out of ideas not knowing what to paint i just painted on with whatever colour I still had left on my palette. Remembering a painting I had saw early in an art magazine I am subscribed to I followed the techniques of what I thought the painting used. Which produced the ending result of this abstract/landscape painting.

Ok so I completely neglected to post anything in April and May...I have no excuses just that I have been lazy to and uni has been catching up to me...final assessments in a week and a day away, I'm nervous I hope I do well. After final assessments has finished I can finally relax a little bit. Mid year break here I come. So until then, see you later.

updating soon promise....

Uni Time

Wow I didn't know how much time uni took from me, though I am not complaining because I can spend much more time there. The work I am doing (if you can call it that) is fantastic I love it. I'm pretty much painting the whole time there, it's great, especially today we got the chance to go to my city botanical gardens which is so tranquil, I could live there if it wasn't for the infestation of mosquitoes. Though I guess I can always bring bug repellent but I don't know what that could do to the ozone layer. But yea it was a really fun and exciting experience as it was the first time I had used oils paints, daunting at first but really great in the end as I just had fun with it.

Painting #3

Another hidden bird painting, it isn't so obvious as it seems...

So I survived my first week back at uni, feeling more excited about getting into actually painting but with oils. Being an acrylics girl I find transitioning into oils is a bit intimidating since I've grown so confortable with using acylics. Since the course is oil paint based that will be the main medium I would have to use. I guess I can incorporate a little acrylic paint into my projects but oil would have to be the main medium. So I guess I will see how I go with practicing using oil paints, who knows maybe I'll never turn back to using acrylics ever again.

Art School

I just had my first painting class for the semester, man it's going to be a very long road. I know I can do it but I just have to hope that I can keep up, because the information I got from the tutorers yesturday is that this painting class I have taken up is going to be a very intensive one. Well all I have to at this moment is get my stuff together and the organisation I am forcing myself to do will hopfully pan out the semester for itself or just help me greatly.

Painting #2

This has got to be one of my first paintings where I did it within two days, named The Hidden Bird. Usually I would take ages to finish because I would be doing lots of painting projects all at once and it would be like this vicious cycle and it seems like I would never finish. So I have discovered that this new method I have now adopted, of finishing one before I start a new one is definately the way to go for me.

Big Project #1

It is ever so satisfying to finally finish a major project. Today marks the first day that I finished a big painting project (lots more to come). Though I have done lots of paintings, today I have finished my first major piece, with lots of hard work, lots of time and of course lots of love I have finially finshed. Now all I have to do is finish my other two small unfinished paintings which shouldn't be too hard.

The painting represents the abstract way I see flora. Colourful yet complicated. Of course I cannot measure up to the real thing but trying to view it in an abstract way helps me present it from my view. I'm happy that I have finally finished, I like how all the textured bits came up, I used modelling paste to achieve this and then painting over it when it dries, also use gel mediums to create other different texture which I am happy on how everything turned out.

Unstressing Myself

Even though I still have one week of my summer break, weeks before I was feeling extremely stressed though I know that I don't have anything important to do or anything to hand up. I think it was just all those unfinished projects I just have laying there unfinished, but i don't know why they would stress me out. At the moment though i have finally unstressed myself with some theraputic painting a piece inspired but mother nature herself. It shows how I see flora in an abstract way trying to keep with natural colours found in flowers and plants. Green being the primary colour and bits of bright colours to highlight the beautiful flora on this earth. Though I haven't finished the two panel painting I am in the final stages, so hopfully soon I will finish.

Happy Art Supplies

A little something something to help me motivate myself to actually finishing this unfinished painting i started ages ago. I treated myself to some paints and brushes today, definately happy. Everytime I go into an art shop and leave with something I always feel like i just had Christmas or my Birthday because even though i bought it with my own money it makes me so happy just to own new and unopened art supplies. To be later on opened and let myself go crazy and just experiment.

Addiction

Hi my name is Sue and i'm an art-supplyholic. Yes it is a big addiction that i have, i spent a good solid two hours yesturday browsing online for art supplies, most of which i can't afford. I always find myself thinking about having whole collections of good quality paint acrylic or oil i'm not fussed because i love them both and a huge range of paint brushes that i could experiment with, but for now I am making do with what i have which is enough.

Onto other things, just started a big painting project and it's taking shape nicely, so my other unfinished paintings will have to wait because i am on a roll with this one.

Quote Of My Day

Salvador Dali - Warrior, 1982

"Drawing is the honesty of the art.

There is no possibility of 

cheating. It is either good or bad."

- Salvador Dali

One of the many artists that inspire me.

Dreaming

It annoys my that when i woke today i forgot what my dream was about, all i knew was that weird( as it always is) and my dreams usually involves some famous person off television and sometimes my friends. But the really weird thing is i still feel that weird feeling that you get in a dream. Like when you're sad in a dream you wake up sad even though you forgot what you dreamt about, but for me i can't really explain what feeling i have except the fact that it was just plain weird.

Anyways that was my tiny rant that i had to write somewhere...

Finishing Projects

Another day another post, the usual day where i think about things and inparticular the fact i have a bad case of procrastination and what not. Knowing where it comes from it sort of annoys me.

I have (sort of) finally come to terms with my procrastination problems by starting to slowly finish off those painting projects i have just there on my table....two down and two and a half to go.  Something else i did was call up a person to deal with my headphones being repaired...something i was suppose to do a month ago but kept putting off, some of the time i kept forgetting, anothers i just made excuses like i'm busy when i'm not and most of the time i didn't want to talk to a person over the phone, fearing it was going to be some useless person who doesn't know how to do their job or couldn't of been any help. Finally getting over it like i should of a month ago i rang the people  up and to my relief it was some nice guy who was very helpful and hopefully soon i'll have stereo sounding music again.

Valentines Day

Roses are red,

so are my shoes,

i don't have a valentine,

so i'll just play sudoku

no but seriously that is what i'm doing, (giving my brain a well earned exercise it deperately needs.....) because i really don't have a valentine. maybe next year... 

A cute little Valetines heart for myself.........Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day...

Well tomorrow is going to be valentines day. There is nothing more sad than having no one....and i'll be one of them. It's one of those days where i don't really look forward to. I'm sound a tad bit bitter, i must stop.

On other news, I'm kind of over the whole five thing, i had to sleep on it and i'm not worried anymore . It was so stupid. I have come to the realisation that it was just a coincident and nothing more.

Something else that i have come to the realisation is that we are all going to die. I mean we as humans have evolved and basically destroyed the world or on the way to it, it's just so terrible. There's so much greenhouse in here that it's making everything stuffed. Now i don't want to sound like some ranting enviromentalist but lets face it it's all true. The weather for one, one day it's hot until you want to die, the next it's freezing cold to the point you need a big thick jacket. The earth is slowly dying and there's nothing we as humans could do. It's not like we can go backwards or anthing.

The Number Five

So my second post, so far so good i'm still keeping with it, well i can't really say anything just yet as it is only the second day. i guess i'll just have to see how far i can do this thing.

I've realised something today and it's that  my inability to complete my journals actually translate to other things in my life and right now i can think of two things. The first is books, i would start them then i just stop, i know i have one particular book where i've gone halfway and never finished and i'm pretty sure it's been about geez i've counted and i am pretty sure it's five years and counting. It's funny because i still have a bookmark in that book. I'm pretty sure i have four others that i must finish. The Second thing is my paiuntings i counted and yep five paintings have not been finished on it's way but not yet finished. 

Now i think about it, this is really weird, why five? i can't even answer myself that question, i didn't realise how many paintings or books i have yet to finish until literally right this moment when i was writing the second paragraph. Is the number five some how significant to me. Crap...this is just freaky i saw five crows the other day what on earth is going on with me? is it just coincidence? I don't know. Something i don't understand is apparently something i'm begining to fear.

Hi

Sitting infront of my computer with a nice warm cup of tea i write my first official blog , i have never done anything like this, sharing my thoughts and 'stuff' if you will so this will be the start of my online journal or blog and hopefully the start of a committed one. i say that because I have known to be not committed to things like a journal. I must have up to four or five different journals where i just wrote into a few pages until i got bored and then i just stopped. Maybe it was the events in my life ones that weren't so eventful that i thought wouldn't be worth writing about. Wow just thinking about it brings back nostalgia of those times i wrote about how my friends are the best and i know that sounds corny keep in mind i'm thinking way back when i first started writing in a journal and that it must of been around when i was seven or so. Things have definately changed since then i would never of guessed or even think about thirteen years later i sit here with a little life experience now wiser and happier than ever.